Dispatches from the road: alone

Dispatches from the Road by Bill Poindexter

Alone 

There’s something very romantic about traveling solo

by bicycle and being self-contained: carrying my camping equipment, tools, clothes, food and water. I guess you could say I’m more of an old school bicycle traveler as I don’t carry a bicycle computer, I prefer a map and compass, sense of direction intuitiveness and common sense. I anticipate certain dangers, and therefore know how to self rescue-as I don’t put anybody else in danger. I do like to travel alone. But I can’t say I’ve ever been really alone, like a solo sailor in the middle of the ocean, or maybe like one of those people that do solo Arctic trips, or may be like adventures of the past who would head into the jungles by themselves, or across the desert, or live in a cabin in Siberia in winter with no one around them. And I wonder what that alone is. But with that I will say that on many of my trips I’ve been alone. I’ve slept in areas where there was nobody around for miles. I think the farthest I’ve ever been from a town was just over 100 miles not to say there probably wasn’t somebody living closer than that and definitely a road near were the one I was on. But traveling alone is relative to where you are and what your situation is. I’ve been on roads where I saw no other sign of life for a day and a half and at some point, I pulled off into a field or a forest and laid my bedding down and fitfully slept under the stars. No anxiety just me in the universe. But traveling solo scares me I’m not scared of the wilderness or of people or wildlife. I’m scared of those dark caverns inside my head those locked up thoughts of doubt, guilt, regret, self loathing, memories of things I wish would just stay locked up, and that I could forget forever. That’s what I fear. Even though I can distract myself with singing a song or making up a story in my head. Just being in the moment and appreciating that I’m alive and able to do what I do which is travel extraordinary distances by bicycle. And occasionally sometimes Fear has a way of creating stress and anxiety, and sometimes that can manifest itself into physical issues like, erratic heartbeat, an anxiety attack, nausea, diarrhea, neck, pain, vertigo, I fear those physical attributes as just an inconvenience and with proper self-care… Usually a few deep breaths, and a little bit of time, maybe some water and food and rest those issues will pass, but it’s being on the road mile after mile sometimes for me up to 100 miles a day maybe a little bit more but most days is 40 to 60 that’s enough. And it’s that self talk self encouragement and if really alone it’s just saying to myself “what’s the worst that can happen“ I guess just dropping dead? But typically my friend when I’m on the road and I’m solo I’m alone but I’m not lonely. I marvel at the earth around me and my bicycle rolling over a crunchy gravel road and animals and all the nature. Things, “visions” show themselves while traveling solo, especially when you’re on the loneliest part of the road, and you start to drift into another plane/Universe/dimension. It’s like that moment between being awake and sleep you get into that Zen zone and it’s almost like you’re flying, or leaving your body. People pay good money to have those experiences doing things like LSD, or Ayahuasca, or mushrooms, but I do that by traveling long distances on my bicycle. And at the end of the day I pull off somewhere, lay my bedding down eat some food, make a hot drink, slip into my sleeping bag, fully content, knowing that everything I need at that moment is with me, and no matter what happens I’m gonna be OK, and I drift off to the stars, maybe the sounds of critters, and the smells that are around me like-sage, pine, arid desert smell, and my eyes slowly become heavy and hard to open, and I fall asleep, with a heavy sleep. I wake in the middle of the night periodically, because sleeping out under the stars is different than sleeping in a confined space and I where can I look at the stars in listen to the wind or to the stillness maybe a beetle walking past me, ignoring the  little being perhaps the hum of a mosquito, looking for supper, and I fall back asleep content that I am at home on my planet as insignificant as I am, I feel at that moment like I’m part of everything all at once. And I wake up first light a bluish hue that turns into a golden hue, and then the sounds of the life become prevalent. And I get up and I pack my gear up and I roll-on alone alone into the solo wilderness. Thanking god for my short existence.

Thank you for reading my writing. I appreciate you and I hope you’re well. If you like my writings, let me know in the comments below. 

Support this journalistic endeavor: I am working on expanding my writings, into podcast, and videos on my YouTube channel 

Thanks to Elizabeth for helping Steve and Robert as well. And then many of you who bought me a cup of coffee and a sandwich on my last journeys, I’m grateful. I feel this is my destiny and I’m glad you’re along for the ride.

Peace and love, Bill

Feel free to email me at poindexterrecruiting@gmail.com

About Bill Poindexter, author, adventurer, philosopher 

Although Bill has been writing his whole life, he has in the last 23 years made a name for himself, writing about his lifestyle, living without a car, bicycling and walking every year for transportation and then also traveling by bicycle to various locations and writing about his experiences on the road experiences with food, culture, his own fears, the people he meets along the road, and what he observes in the world, in terms of nature and humanity. Bills has had an extraordinary life living life on his own terms for the betterment of humanity. The planet to Bill is pretty important too. Bill speaks the truth, no matter what the outcome.

Thoughts from home

 Thoughts from home by Bill Poindexter

November 29, 2023 6 AM, 30°F, clear skies 

Topics:

60, cats, thinking too much, philosophy, procrastination, odd jobs, synchronicity, seer, nature, asking God and universe-What’s next?, My expeditions, and future bikepacking expeditions, what’s really important, meeting Jesus in Baja, being thankful

I turned 60 on the 27th. The last couple of weeks have been a very reflective time which is pretty normal for me this time of year but more so turning 60. I’m still in that reflective mode, probably for a few more days. 

Simply, I’m trying to figure out what I want to do, for the future, or at least the near future. Right now I’m Recruiting, working odd jobs, and writing, and philosophizing, and having a really good time with my three rescue cats and communing with nature. I’m feeling very happy at my home right now. And I’m doing a lot of thinking about myself, my life and the future of the world. The plan is right now to, do what I usually do, which is figure out a way to make some money and save a little extra, and head out on the road again and write about my experiences. Over the last few months, I’ve been studying other writers, styles, and experimenting much on my own writing. Kind of giving myself a masters in creative writing. I feel one of my callings is communication in the form of speaking and writing. So I’m going with my gut. I’m living on the edge a bit, in terms of financial security. But my painting of my life is large and vibrant. I’m used to living on the edge, I’ve always been a procrastinator, I like the feeling of the unknown, and always have the mindset of “what’s the worst that can happen“ I can’t tell you exactly why I do what I do or why I live the way I live, except that I’m true to my heart.

Life is so interesting, I feel like an observer of it. I feel very strong, mentally, and physically. If you were to ask me right now, “what is the meaning of life“ I would probably tell you to live it to its fullest try to experience everything you can make a lot of mistakes understand there is no balance there’s always gonna be ups and downs, and embrace the ups and downs, and at the end of the day show love and compassion to those around you whether they be humans, animals or nature.

Reflecting back on all my expeditions, short trips, and just my commuting around my home town, there’s always been an element of universal contemplation, you know -is there a God?

With all the weirdness of the world, it’s easy to question the existence of a higher being. With me, it seems, I’m always steered in a direction of synchronicity‘s and serendipity. That are hard to explain. From my intuitive standpoint – I see and hear everything. I’ve even been called a Seer more than once.

I find myself asking for guidance from the universe on a daily basis. Truthfully, I can’t tell you I believe in God, but I feel better when he’s around :-) which I guess means that I do believe in God?

Let me tell you a quick story: in the last decade, I’ve had some pretty cool experiences on my cycling and hiking trips. If you don’t know, I’ve hiked in the desert of Joshua tree national Park, and also on the coast of California – backpacking. I’ve also ridden my bike all over Kansas and Missouri, from Los Angeles, down through Baja Mexico, from Missoula, Montana up to Lake Louise, Alberta, Canada, and back down to glacier national Park, from New Mexico to Banff, Alberta, Canada, and the last long ride I did was last year, where I rode from Kansas City down to Springfield Missouri and then took a left turn and bicycled to Yorktown, Virginia. And this past summer I base camped in northwest, Montana, where I worked, and was able to travel around the mountains and the national forest on a daily basis. With all these experiences, I commune with nature on a very intimate level as I’m usually camping and sleeping on a patch of ground. I’ve ridden my bike in all types of weather, and I’ve met many people and had many conversations about life and what’s really important in life. I’ve also done these trips with sometimes multiple injuries either chronic or overuse injuries. And I always going out with the mindset that I need to be hyper aware to be able to self rescue if anything were to happen – which is always been a good metaphor for my life. I learned how to self rescue at an early age. I guess I’m lucky that way. And on all those trips to as I push my physical mental facilities, I contemplate my own mortality, and I find myself talking with God/the universe. And there’s even been a couple of times where I feel like I actually met, and had a conversation with angels/God/Jesus. I could be wrong, but they were both unusual circumstances and good conversations. I will be sharing those stories soon.

Synchronicity has played a large part with all my trips before and after. Too many coincidences. To give you a few examples on one trip I ask the universe for a bicycle and a friend of mine loaned me a brand new bicycle. I also called that trip the grateful trip and I was walking on a trail And I just happened to look down and there was a button in the middle of the trail that had Grateful written on it. Another time, a friend of mine, who is a very strong Christian, and a good man said he felt that Jesus was after me for a relationship with Him, and I told him, my friend that I appreciated that, but I was very unsure of my faith, and about a month later I was on a train to Los Angeles, and my seat partner ended up being a young Christian woman going home for Christmas break and she was studying at a Bible school outside of Chicago. And that trip being the same trip where I went to Mexico at the end of the trip, I met Jesus. You laugh, or show doubt, I’ll tell you the story sometime.

There’s some pretty cool stuff happening right now as well. And I wanted this post to be short, so I’m not gonna share any more today as you can tell. I’m on a search for truth. Truth is so important to me and trust me. I’m not anything special at all. I make a lot of mistakes, but I do understand truth and I write about truth and I will never ever apologize for sharing truth. I feel like I’m almost ready to go out and do a trip alone. I need to be out in nature for a long time by myself. I need to figure out a way to make that happen.

I’m interested in seeing what answers I come up with.

Well, just wanted to share what I’m thinking and what my journey is right now. I’m hunkered down in Kansas City, Missouri, I’m recruiting full-time, working part time at a bike shop, doing yardwork and handyman work for a couple of people when there’s work, I’m writing, and I’m living my life on my own terms.

If you’d like my writing or wanna hear more about my stories or my current journey. Feel free to reach out. You can comment below or connect with me by sending me an email at poindexterrecruiting@gmail.com.

Thank you for your support

Peace and love, Bill