The life of illusion

Dispatches from the Road by Bill Poindexter

Carry a life of illusion - unedited 

Ripe berries, skinny squirrels, groundcover, angry August, lost cooks, the philosopher, camping in the dirt, becoming wild, rant from a novice bartender.

It’s July 27, 7:30 AM the sun is about to cross the pine trees. Fingertips have been cold in the 40s seems like the nights are getting colder. I’m sure this is temporary as it’s still July but it seems to be a precursor to the changing of seasons coming in the next couple of months . Berries are abundant right now raspberries and huckleberries. Every day on my commute, I’ll stop on the side of the road and eat huckleberries. There’s huckleberry patches behind my cabin all over the place here they are delicious. I’m finding myself eating better most of the time. Flannery, who owns the home ranch bottoms next to my cabin is a talented baker. She has turnovers and pies and cookies, and brownies all sorts of sweet delectables, and I find myself treating myself at the end of every hard workday with one of her creations, the last couple nights, I have a Huckleberry turnover. And if you know me, you know that this time of the summer season, I would usually be up on Martha’s Vineyard island off Cape Cod and would be experimenting with blueberry pie. And would say that huckleberry turnovers is a fantastic alternative, so it satiates my berry lust this time of year as I sit here waiting for the sun to get higher or actually the Earth spin so the sun is on my body. I’ve been watching the squirrels run around my area and it seems to me that some of them are pretty skinny so I do hope that they start doing what the animals need to do here at this time of year, which is eat more, there’s plenty of berries  behind my cabin. I actually don’t go back there and eat them to leave them for the squirrels and other wildlife that I live by. And as I look out upon the ground cover, I’ve noticed and it might just be because the last two weeks were really hot and now it’s cooler again is that some of the groundcover Certain to change color and I’m assuming that that is a pretty cursor to fall as well. And I love the change of the seasons. And Kansas City where I live it normally wouldn’t happen until late September but here I’m assuming it will start happening in August and September. It was a cold night last night in the 40s and I love that I love to burrow in my sleeping bag And I just get warm and toasty. Some of the other local seasonal workers have talk to me about angry August where I understand it is where the seasonal workers are basically becoming tired burnt out a little bit. It’s usually a hot and dusty time of year as well up here And people just get grumpier and gray and short with people tired of asking the same questions tired of answering the same questions seem to me like it happened for me last week when I almost quit the Saloon because the manager and I were not communicating well, finally I told her look. If I can’t communicate with you, then we’re not gonna work together. Luckily, I had two days off. Relaxed a little bit got my bicycle fixed and I feel better. I talked to Aimee and Kansas City and she sent me a comment saying that I just have few more weeks and you can make a lot of money for the fall and she’s right. So I’m gonna push it out, if the saloon doesn’t work out the home ranch bottoms is losing some people because they’re going back home back to school for the season so there might be a opportunity to work there the rest of the season. Although I do have to say that I am missing my cats very much And it’s a long bike ride back to Kansas City so I’m hoping that I get done with the season by early September so I can be back home by early October. And then the plan to spend at least three months home, and then head to Mexico for a month or so. I’ve met people up here live in Baja in the winter who offered me places to stay. So we will see…the sun is finally breaking through. The trees feels good to have an on my body now my coffee is always good. I like drinking this Folgers instant coffee. I’ve been drinking that stuff since I was in a military school when I was 14 -off and on. I prefer a really nice coffee with a French press but up here it’s just boiled water and instant coffee and I’m happy. 

Last week we lost two cooks at the saloon one was might be he had been here from the start, he’s kind of an odd sort, not sure what his story was but he mostly kept to himself hadn’t been around camp much because he had been out car camping various places buddy help me understand how kitchens work very early on and I like them very much. He was also kind enough when I first got here to give me some bug spray and let me use his bicycle pump. Which he ended up leaving with me because from what I understand he got reprimanded for not showing up a couple of times, and got written up in an in true fashion of him, he just took off, cleaned out his cabin and left. Then we also lost the other mic. I called him the philosopher, he ended up getting an offer from home ranch bottoms that he just couldn’t turn down. Plus, he didn’t like some of the other cooks at the saloon. He made comments to me yesterday that the place was dirty and he called one of the head cooks, a woman named Katie the C word Which I can understand because she’s very headstrong and I’m not a fan of hers either. I call her the instigator because she’s always stirring up trouble. But at the same time you have to look at everybody’s strength and I think that people have to be themselves here too. And as always, there’s two sides to every story. Period but I call Mike the philosopher, because when he first came up here, he was reading Jack Kerouac‘s the Dharma bums, and we had some good conversations about Kerouac another philosophers, one night while looking for the northern lights and having a beer after her shift at the saloon couple of weeks ago. Can’t remember if I wrote about it or not. I think I did. And right now he’s reading a brave New World by Huxley, and we had good comments about reading 1984 and then the parallels of Covid, and all that other nonsense that happened. And that brings me to, some of my other conversations with folks around here which I’m not gonna go in a major detail, but that Russian guy told you about with his girlfriend who are the the Forager’s from Oregon who I wrote about last week. As it turns out we had another conversation and he and I are on completely opposites of what happened in the last three years in the world and we have major disagreements. It was somewhat of a heated conversation. but I like the fact that we can have a civilized conversation just two people sitting down with complete differences and opinions and still manage to shake hands at the end of the conversation. Seems to me like the world’s lost that. I found that out when as a yoga instructor I had people who attacked me for being and out of the same opinion about the so-called vaccines. But that’s another story and probably aggravated some of you by them bringing it up. And as in every other part of the world, there’s always a split community in here in the area where I live now. I haven’t been camping in the dirt. Which concerns me a little bit but I’ve been enjoying my cabin so much and by the time I get done with my shifts are usually just want to chill out and go for a short bike ride or have a beer a conversation or a cuppa coffee with somebody I usually start my shift at 10 o’clock in the morning. I usually eat some breakfast before and don’t eat until after my shift, which is usually around four or five. then I usually come home and do some laundry in the sink or the shower. And then either go for a walk or a bike ride or maybe go ahead and listen some live music or just sit on the porch of the home ranch bottoms, and do some writing or reading. Or have a good conversation with somebody. I made it to town the other day got my bicycle wheels fixed as I mentioned before so that was good. Also was able to do some banking errands and I ended up buying a shirt that I’m not sure about. and I had some good conversations with my friend Alex, who gave me a ride there. I think I’m becoming wild. Wild in the standpoint that I’m embracing my wilderness experience up here there’s enough people around to keep my attention and there’s enough wild around to keep my attention for that. If you know me, you know you know that I’m a loner that loves people. By the end of my shift I’ve talk to tens or hundreds of people so I’m usually done talking for the day unless there’s somebody interesting enough to have a spirited conversation with. but just looking out over nature‘s boundary bound to fall glory here is enough to just contemplate your existence. I haven’t shaved or cut my hair for over two months now, so I definitely have a little bit of a mountain man look hairs growing out of my ears my eyebrows are long and bushy in my beards, well it’s becoming long and gray but I feel stronger than I did when I first came up here. Healthier breathing in better air drinking better water. I’m not eating better food necessarily but I’m eating with my body needs to know more. Still drinking cold smoke scotch ale on a regular basis. But I’ve never been one to overindulge with alcohol, so not drinking that much. And it’s usually with my food. Somebody wanted me to make them a drink yesterday at the bar on my shift he wanted me to make him a Manhattan. I laughed wanted to say “where do you think you are the Ritz? And he understood and said I’ll just take a double bourbon and I said that’s a better choice anyway. But I am becoming a connoisseur of alcohol more knowledgeable. I’m not a fan of all the mixology bullshit, I’m more of a realistic pourer of spirits… It’s kind of like if you order a steak and it’s a really good cut of meat but you order it over cooked and you put A1 steak sauce on it? If you’re going to drink, whiskey, then drink whiskey, neat, or on the rocks… don’t add a bunch of crap to it to dilute the taste. Somethings just don’t make sense. 

Begging the question…

Is life an illusion?